


One Cup of Coffee With You

by gleamingwon



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:22:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28691640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleamingwon/pseuds/gleamingwon
Summary: They've broken up and Soonyoung wishes to never see Wonwoo again.But tonight, just for tonight.. He wants to have one last cup of coffee with him.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	One Cup of Coffee With You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is Gleam! This work is actually something I've published for a fic project but I decided to re-publish it here!  
> This is angst and I wonder why did I made something like this:") but regardless, I hope you enjoy the story!

**August 8th, 2020**

A man has been sitting at the same table for an hour, or maybe more, he’s not really sure because it feels the time passes in a blink of an eye. The espresso in front of him already got cold; it hasn’t been drank even a sip.

Soonyoung, has been constantly looking at the empty seat in front of him.

Then looking to the way of the entrance of the coffee shop, every time the bell rings as a sign someone comes into the shop.

He looks at the watch on his wrist, the time shows 8 PM. From the window table he sits at, he looks outside to the dark night sky. There aren’t much to see, no stars are seen only the pitch black sky. But the night street is lively, Soonyoung switch his gaze to look at people who walk passes by; a man who just got off work, a couple who’s holding each other hands with smile upon their face, a bunch of high school students who’s probably just finished their lesson. He sees many people, but no sign of someone he waited for.

Whom exactly Soonyoung waited at this coffee shop for more than an hour? How should Soonyoung label that person as?

Acquaintance? They spent too much time together to just be mere acquaintances.

Friend? No, they haven’t talk in 9 months, and they can’t be friends.

Boyfriend? Pfft, they’ve broken up.

Ah right, ex-boyfriend. Soonyoung has been waiting an hour for his ex-boyfriend, Wonwoo. 

How could someone make a person waited for an hour? No wonder they broke up. Well, technically Wonwoo was the one who broke up with him, how funny. 

So why Soonyoung, waited for Wonwoo, a person who’ve broken up with him at the exact same place he’s at right now?

Well, there is no grand explanation, Soonyoung just misses him. He misses Wonwoo, the idiot who confessed his love all through semester for Soonyoung, and the same idiot who broke up with him. 

Soonyoung looks around the coffee shop; it’s a rather small shop. It’s nearby their university, but even after their graduation they still frequently visit this place. This place holds history for them.

Wonwoo always told Soonyoung of how he fell in love at first sight with him at this exact coffee shop. The reason was quiet simple, because Soonyoung gave Wonwoo a napkin when he spilt his coffee on his way out. Soonyoung doesn’t even remember this. What he remembers, suddenly some strange boy followed him around campus while keep mentioning napkin and coffee. At first, Soonyoung was irritated by the persistent boy, but he slowly softens up to the boy who never failed to give him affection and words of support. Soonyoung was _charmed_.

Charmed by the guy who helped him carrying the heavy books, the guy who ran around to find a limited edition snack just because Soonyoung said he wanted it, the guy who constantly fix his glasses that keeps drooping and the guy with the insanely adorable nose scrunch every time he laughs.

When Wonwoo confessed his love for Soonyoung, here at the coffee shop, Soonyoung was already head over heels for that strange boy who chased him. He doesn’t know when he exactly developed the same feeling- if not more to Wonwoo. What he knows, since they officially dated his feelings for him could only grow. Every day felt light and brighter with Wonwoo besides him.

That is why Soonyoung, until this day couldn’t understand what happened to them. Why did they become like this when they both loved each other so much? When being apart with each other was torture, they eventually torment themselves. 

**October 13th, 2019**

It is just like any other day, Soonyoung and Wonwoo has promised to meet at the coffee shop like usual that night. However today, Wonwoo is unusually late. Yet Soonyoung doesn’t think much about it. Soonyoung already ordered a glass of green tea latte for him and a cup of espresso for his boyfriend. Soonyoung is a bit nervous; they’ve been fighting a lot these days. But it’s not a big fight; it’s more like arguments over trivial things. Still, Soonyoung feel bad for being mad at such insignificant things, so he made up his mind to be the bigger person and apologize today. After all, they’ve been dating for 4 years, this much fights are not a big deal, they’ll overcome it.

Around 10 minutes later, Wonwoo finally came.

Soonyoung was expecting a smile, the gleeful smile Wonwoo always gives Soonyoung, the smile Soonyoung always brushes off as idiotic, but Wonwoo is his idiot, so Soonyoung secretly loves it. But instead, Wonwoo’s face shows an expression Soonyoung never seen before. He have straight face with stoic expression, it feels so cold that it gives chills to Soonyoung. The Wonwoo who sits in front of him without saying anything is like someone Soonyoung doesn’t even recognize, a stranger. 

But he refuses to believe. This is Wonwoo, Wonwoo his boyfriend that loves him more than anything in the world. Wonwoo who would do anything for him without Soonyoung have to ask. He might just have a bad day. _Yes, that’s it_.

“Are you not feeling well?” Soonyoung asks. He’s surprised at how shaky his voice is. In the end, Soonyoung is afraid.

“I’m okay.” Wonwoo answers with a voice as cold as his face.

Soonyoung tries to smile, “I’ve ordered your drink. Is there anything you want to eat? Let’s order.”

 _Silence_. Wonwoo doesn’t answer, he keeps looking down to the table, his eyes steer clear from Soonyoung’s. 

Soonyoung feel more and more discouraged, fear starts to creep in, slowly crawls through his heart.

“Wonwoo?” He withstands his distress.

His company finally looking him straight in the eyes and now Soonyoung wishes to not meet it. Those are foreign gazes, his Wonwoo is not here.

“Soonyoung, we have to talk.” Wonwoo let out a sigh.

No. I don’t want to hear it.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

_Stop. Please, stop._

“Let’s break up.”

Wonwoo doesn’t even flinch while saying the three words that instantly pierce through Soonyoung’s heart like a sharp blade. Soonyoung’s mind goes blank, he can’t possibly think of any words to say, or just anything. His brain and his whole body feels numb, the only thing he can feel is the feeling of suffocation on his chest. 

“I don’t understand?” Soonyoung musters up energy he has left to talk. “Why?” He really tries his best to let voice come out of his throat, but he only manages to let out a trembled whispering voice.

Once again, Wonwoo’s eyes avoid Soonyoung’s.

“I’m just tired of pretending to be okay.” Wonwoo says calmly.

How? How can you be this calm? You’re breaking up with me, and how can you says it so calmly?

“It doesn’t make any sense.” Soonyoung says, now almost screaming. “You said you love me.”

Desperation. Soonyoung lets out the last thing he have, the desperation of not wanting to let go. Because as he said, it doesn’t make any sense. Their fights weren’t big enough for them to break up. So why does this happen to them right now? This is not right.

Wonwoo looks down, and then only awkward silence fills the air between them. There are a lot of things Soonyoung wants to say, but no other words could come out. His heartbeats are rising, faster and faster. His breathing becomes unsteady. He’s having a hard time just to breathe. 

“Exactly.” Wonwoo finally let a word out of his mouth. “It’s because I don’t love you anymore.”

It’s finally collapses. Everything that still holds Soonyoung together is falling apart. He thought let’s break up was the worst thing he ever heard in his life, but he was wrong. I don’t love you anymore, that’s the worst. Because what can he possibly say to that? What can he say to a person who’s already walking away?

Tears are filling up Soonyoung’s eyes. Is this a dream? Because this is not possible, everyone can leave him, but Wonwoo is the least person he thought would ever left. Wonwoo who loves him so dearly, now sitting in front of him with a lifeless look and saying he doesn’t love Soonyoung, so many things going on his head, what should he do? How to fix this? How can he live without Wonwoo?

“Wo-won..” Tears finally falling out of his eyes, Soonyoung chokes up from the tears that are welling up. “You lie. Thi- this can’t be. There is no way you don’t love me? There must be other reasons.”

“There are no other reasons.”

“Do you have someone else?” Soonyoung is trying, trying to find a way to understand their sudden breakup. He needs something to put a sense into it.

“Soonyoung, don’t make this even harder. There are no other reasons.” Wonwoo voice is so clear that it make Soonyoung’s heart aches.

“Then look me straight in the eyes and tell me.” Soonyoung gathers the little courage he has left. This is his last straw.

“Kwon Soonyoung.” His voice gives goosebumps. But then Wonwoo lifts his head, looking straight to Soonyoung’s eyes.

“I don’t love you anymore.” 

There is no hint of hesitation in his voice; Wonwoo is so sure of what he’s doing. And Soonyoung heart’s shatters into pieces, slowly.

“If you want me to say sorry, I will. But it won’t change anything. I just don’t love you and I can’t keep pushing myself to say otherwise.”

“What did I do wrong?” Again, Soonyoung tries to find something. He’s still too confused and too shocked. He’s trying to find a fault in this breakup.

“You did nothing wrong, okay? It’s nobody’s fault.”

Soonyoung can’t hold it anymore as he bursts into tears. He doesn’t care about the eyes of other visitors in the coffee shop, he just needs to cry. 

If Wonwoo cheated on him, he can curse him all he wants. He can punch the hell out of him. But what can Soonyoung do to accept this situation? What can make him feel better? 

Nothing. Nothing Soonyoung does will make someone who falls out of love comes back to him. And the hardest part is that he has nothing and no one to blame, but himself.

“Just forget about me and go find someone else who will love you as much as you do.” Wonwoo says coldly.

Soonyoung doesn’t even know who this person is. Wonwoo that he knows is a warm person who’d wipe Soonyoung’s tears and wrap him in a tight hug whenever he’s feeling low, then say everything is going to be okay. Every time Wonwoo says those magic words, Soonyoung does feel better. But this person in front of him now just stares at him, sitting still, without any words of comfort. 

“That person is not me, Soonyoung. I’m sorry.”

And with that, Wonwoo leaves his seat. He walks out from the coffee shop, leaving the heartbroken Soonyoung alone.

 _Don’t go_. Soonyoung wants to shout it out to stop him. Stop him from going away, because it feels like Wonwoo is never going to comeback, it hurts like this is the last time Soonyoung ever going to see him.

But he just stands still, with tears streaming down his cheeks and a huge void on his heart. The future he imagined, it has Wonwoo in every moment, but now the only person he sees in his future has disappear.

Today, Soonyoung has lost someone he loves with all of his heart.

Wonwoo has fallen out of love.

And there is nothing Soonyoung could do about it.

**August 8th, 2020**

The breakup was brutal.

Soonyoung remembered how hard it was for him, crying and blaming himself every single day. Feeling worthless, and don’t deserves to be loved. It was hard trying to remember how he lived his life before Wonwoo. The idea of forgetting him is implausible for Soonyoung, someone who was his everyday suddenly have to become someone who’s not better than a stranger. How can he accept that between him and Wonwoo there’s no longer us? There is just a _you and me_.

Wonwoo was someone he leans on to, his pillars. With Wonwoo gone, it feels like Soonyoung fall into an endless dark abyss. Wonwoo was his ray of light in a seemingly black and white world. He thought he can’t live without Wonwoo, because he loved him to death, but in the end he’s still alive. At least now he knows he can live on his own, he managed through the worst of it; although it takes almost a year. Everything takes time anyway. What keeps him going is his feeling of anger towards Wonwoo, the feeling of unfairness. He wants to show him that he can live just fine without him, so Soonyoung did it as a proof. 

But today, just like he’s back to early months of his breakup; he misses his ex-lover so much. So he wait, waiting at the one place where it all began and ended, the place with a lot of good memories, to have a cup of coffee for the last time with him, just like the old times.

But time is ticking, it’s now almost 2 hours of waiting alone, people already come and go in this little coffee shop and only Soonyoung stay still. 

It seems like the one he’s waiting for will never show up.

Is one cup of coffee is too much to ask for someone who you were in love with? Is someone who you used to share the idea of future with is just a part of your past that’s insignificant?

Jeon Wonwoo you’re a fucking cruel person.

Soonyoung looks at the coffee in front of him, the espresso that already got cold. He doesn’t even like the drink. He wonder why did he order Wonwoo’s favorite.

“Soonyoung?” A voice calls him; a man is standing in front of his table right now.

“Wonwoo?” Soonyoung looks up expectantly to see a tall man in a black coat looking at him with a dejected expression. _It’s not Wonwoo_.

“Oh, it’s just you. What are you doing here?” Soonyoung asks to the unexpected companion, nonchalantly.

Mingyu sits at the seat that’s been empty for hours, “To find you. I know you’d be here.” 

“Well, congrats you found me.” Soonyoung gives a fake smile then looking at his wrist watch again, it’s too late at night. 

This might be the time to accept that he will not come.

“And what are you doing here?” Mingyu returns the question.

Exactly, what is Soonyoung doing here? He’s been waiting like an idiot for almost 2 hours, what is he doing right now? 

Soonyoung lets out a huge sigh.

“I miss him.” He looks down to the floor, “I really miss him that without realizing, I’m already here. Who knows, he might show up right?” Soonyoung scoffs at his own remark. He should know better.

“Soonyoung..” Mingyu looks at Soonyoung with a hint of pity on his eyes. “You suddenly disappear, everyone’s worried. Do you want to go home now? I’ll drop you off.”  
Mingyu is showing sympathy for Soonyoung, why? Soonyoung doesn’t want it, accepting the sympathy and the pity will makes all these feel too real. And he doesn’t want it to be real.

“Mingyu, have you ever loves someone so much that you’re willing to trade your life for them? It doesn’t matter how much you hurt as long as they’re okay.”

Mingyu doesn’t answer; he knows Soonyoung doesn’t need an answer for it’s just a rhetorical question.

“I used to love Wonwoo in that way. I loved him so much that I would do anything for him, but then out of nowhere that asshole said he didn’t love me anymore and wanted to break up. I never understand, why? There is nothing wrong with us, we were fine and we loved each other.” Soonyoung looks at the espresso cup in front of him, the drink that idiot always drink.

“I know something was off, I knew it. But because I was hurt, I was feeling like the most miserable person in the world, I’m too busy pitying myself, trying to shifts all my anger to him. I thought I would feel better that way, and I did for some time. I live my life normally, I hang out with my friends and I laugh, living my life like he doesn’t even exist.” 

Soonyoung holds his breath then look at Mingyu. Mingyu has been sitting in silence and just listening to Soonyoung attentively. Mingyu knows this is what Soonyoung needs right now, someone who will listen to him and all his vulnerability at this moment.

“Mingyu, why did I do that? Why didn’t I reach out to him? Why didn’t I fight for him? I should’ve done that even though he’d pushed me away, I should’ve done that if I do love him.” It comes back; the feeling of suffocation comes back to Soonyoung. He can’t breathe.

“Soonyoung, it’s not your fault. That’s what Wonwoo wants and you were just trying to live your life. You’re only trying to survive.” Mingyu tries to console Soonyoung who’s in dismal. “I know how hard it was for you after the breakup. I saw it all. You did nothing wrong.”

Soonyoung let out a laugh; a short soft laugh.

“If it was hard for me, it’s unthinkable how hard it was for him.”

Mingyu can’t answer. He doesn’t know what the right word to say is; because he knows it’s true. Wonwoo also had it hard. Maybe even harder than Soonyoung.

“You asked why I am here. Well, it’s to remember him.” Soonyoung says.

“Funny right, I spent 9 months to forget about him but now I try everything to remember him. But what should I do, Gyu? I don’t want to forget him now; I never want to forget about him even 9 months ago.”

“I’m so scared that I’d forget him.” Soonyoung voice trembles with fear.

Mingyu lets out a long sighs. “I don’t know if this will help, but Wonwoo’s mother was looking for you.”

“What?”

“She wants to give you this.” Mingyu took out something from his coat pocket. Something so small, it disappears inside Mingyu’s fist.

Mingyu hands out the thing from his pocket to Soonyoung; he carefully gives his hand to receive it. In his palm, there’s a small, round item. It’s a bracelet. Then Mingyu reaches out for another thing inside his pocket, this time it’s an envelope. He puts the envelope on the table and pushes it towards Soonyoung. The bracelet, it’s just a simple purple beaded bracelet with a star pendant in the center. 

_“Soonyoung, you’re my star.”_ Suddenly a memory passes Soonyoung’s mind. A memory of what Wonwoo said to him.

Wonwoo always said Soonyoung is like a star, because it feels like he always radiates his own light, he shines so bright and Wonwoo think he’s beautiful. That’s why on their first anniversary, Soonyoung gave Wonwoo a bracelet with a star pendant. 

“This is to remember me whenever I’m not around, okay?” Yes, that’s what Soonyoung said to Wonwoo when he gave him the present.

But how can this thing from a long past is here on his palm right now?

“Wonwoo’s mother said that bracelet was something Wonwoo never let go of. He wore it every day, because it’s the only thing that makes it feel like you’re with him.” Mingyu talks in a shaky voice, almost like a sob. “That bracelet was a thing that keeps him strong.”

Soonyoung holds his breath, “So, what should I do with this?” Soonyoung’s eyes still focuses on the bracelet.

“Keep it. Wonwoo asked his mother to give it to you along with that letter.”

Then Soonyoung reaches the envelope in front of him, and opens it slowly. His hands trembling, he’s afraid. But he manages to pull out the paper inside the envelope; he unfolds it carefully and starts to read the familiar hand writing. 

Silence. No one is talking. Mingyu just stares at Soonyoung whose eyes are busy exploring what’s written in the letter.

Soonyoung folds back the letter then put it inside the envelope. He just stares at that envelope for a minute before he takes a deep breath that comes out as a long sigh.  
“What an idiot.” Soonyoung scoffs. Jeon Wonwoo remained an idiot until the end.

Soonyoung grabs the cold espresso cup that’s been sitting at the table for two hours. Even the smell feels bitter. But Soonyoung finally take a sip of the bitter drink that he dislikes. He dislikes it, but the taste is somewhat a reminiscent of his past.

The familiar bitter taste. 

Bitter like their breakup.

Bitter like the days he spent trying to live his life without Wonwoo.

Bitter like Wonwoo’s kiss after a coffee. A kiss he misses greatly

Tears drop from Soonyoung’s eyes; and once the first tear breaks, it’s an endless stream of tears. He remembers everything about Wonwoo, all the good memories, that they cherished and it makes it even hurt. Soonyoung begins to cry.

There’s a huge lump on his throat, and an extreme pain on his chest. Soonyoung bent his body to pounds his chest, wishing the pain disappears. He tries to take a breath, but he keeps stuttering. 

He misses Wonwoo, tremendously. Soonyoung is willing to do anything if he can to hug Wonwoo even just once; anything just to say that he loves him very much.  
He learns how to live without Wonwoo, but he never stops loving him. Not even once. How can someone who was dying, still think of someone else first? How can Wonwoo who was fighting with his illness, still put Soonyoung’s first? How can someone be so selfless?

And Soonyoung who didn’t know about all this spent his 9 months trying to hate Wonwoo. Soonyoung wants to curse himself.

“Wonwoo.” Soonyoung is trying his hard to let out a word that could finally come out of his throat with a hoarse voice.

“Can’t I have one last drink with him? I won’t even ask him to hug me, I won’t ask anything. I just want to have one drink, just one drink, for the last time.” Soonyoung lets out a gut-wrenching sobs.

Mingyu stands from his seat and hug the helpless, heartbroken Soonyoung. Mingyu just pats and strokes Soonyoung’s back without saying any words while holding his own tears. No words could comfort Soonyoung. Nothing can heal his heart, at least for now. Therefore he let Soonyoung to grieve. Wonwoo chose to be the bad guy for Soonyoung and Soonyoung could’ve only realized it now.

Soonyoung will get better, he knows it. After all, it was something Wonwoo prepared for Soonyoung. But at least for tonight he just wants to cry as long as he needs, until his tears are dry and he no longer have any tears to cry.

So he cries, and cries some more. 

He cries because it hurts.. and he misses Wonwoo a lot.

 **— EPILOGUE**

To: Soonyoung  
Hi, it’s been a while. It’s shameless of me to write you this letter after everything I did to you.  
The weather starts to get chilly around this month, right? It’s good that you like to stay at home. Oh, maybe you’re not like that anymore? Anyway, if you do go out don’t forget to dress warmly!  
If you read this, I must be no longer able to talk to you and begging for your forgiveness myself. How unfortunate, but still you deserves to know this, Soonie.  
First, please understand why I did what I did to you. There is no excuse, I did hurt you. But I lied when I said I didn’t love you anymore. I never, not even once stop loving you. Soonie, from the moment I saw you at the coffee shop, I just know you’ll be the man I love until the day I die. It’s funny how it turns out to be true haha.  
Oh I shouldn’t laugh at that, right? But it’s okay, I need to laugh so I won’t be too sad.  
I did what I did because you loved me too much. I know.. I know.. I’m so charming that it makes you fell head over heels for me.  
But it also makes me really worried.  
I keep asking myself will you be alright if I’m gone?  
You acts so strong but you get lonely very easily. And you’re very clumsy that you can’t do things by yourself. The more I think about it, I get more worried. Can I really leave you?  
But it’s not like I have any choice anyway. So I have to do what I did. Because I can’t be the person you lean on to anymore.  
I lied for you to be strong, so you can live by yourself. See, now you can live your life without me. Nice job, Soonie!  
Ah now you must be asking what about me without you? I’m okay, I can manage to live without you.  
Joking hahahaha  
You must’ve starting to get mad when you read that, right? lol  
More than me without you, I’m more worried about you without me. I’m okay, because I have the bracelet. You said it yourself that when you’re not around, that bracelet will remind me of you and it works just perfectly. Now I return the bracelet to you. It’s your turn to think that bracelet as me. Well, if you want it.. of course.  
You don’t have to feel guilty, because I’m okay. I’m the one who choose this and I have no regrets. You can cry. It’s okay to cry, just cry all you want. But when you stop crying, don’t cry when you remember me again, I’m not worth your tears. I hope you smile instead when you remember me.  
I just wish you live your life happily and find someone or something you loves. I’d cheer you up, forever!  
Soonyoung, thank you for your love for me. I’m so lucky for being able to love and be loved by an amazing person like you. I never regret any moment I spent with you and I hope you cherished them as much.  
You’re forever my brightest star and I hope everyone can see that.

From,  
Wonwoo  
(yes, the idiot)

p.s. I don’t believe in god, but I pray to him every day so that you don’t have to read this letter.


End file.
